


Justice

by Enecola



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-02
Updated: 2014-10-02
Packaged: 2018-02-19 15:20:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2393252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enecola/pseuds/Enecola
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For Justizia Shepard there are two kinds of opinions. Hers and the wrong one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Justice

**Author's Note:**

> Ok first things first: Justizia Shepard is an albino and her eyes don't work well in bright surroundings, which is why she wears combat shades.  
> Other than that this story is basically about Garrus' and Justizia's ideals clashing. Should give you a good idea what Justizia Shepard is like.
> 
> My wonderful friend Brea did the beta reading, smoochies and kisses!

To say Garrus was upset was putting it mildly. He barely even bothered holstering his sniper rifle before returning to the meeting point where Shepard and the drell would be waiting for him.

He could spot them from far away through the crowd of people he was maneuvering, the white spot next to the sky cars and her green shadow she fondly called Thane. The two of them were talking, doubtless about him.

The mission was supposed to be so simple: find Fade, locate Sidonis, kill Sidonis. The first two tasks were easy enough. Easy meaning they had to shoot their way through mercs and mechs. Though she stopped him from shooting Harkin, the identity behind Fade, in the leg, Shepard had even chuckled a little when he head-butted him. He was sure that not even Thane had heard that small laugh. And then they only had to lure _him_ out in the open, then she would move away and he’d shoot the traitor and be done with it.

But of course Shepard _had_ to disagree. She called Sidonis over, but when Garrus told her to step out of the way, she didn’t. Stubbornly she made herself as tall as possible, broadened her shoulders and probably rose up to her short human toes.

She even warned the bastard.

He considered aiming behind her, but she started shifting from one foot to the other. If he’d taken the shot, he might have ended up shooting her dead instead. Though he wasn’t sure a bullet to the head could kill her, as headstrong as she was, the bullet might as well have given up on her skull.

No matter how many times he told her to step out of the way, she ignored him and kept talking to the traitor. She gave Garrus the order to let Sidonis go, disguised as the kind advice of a friend, but he knew her well enough to know it wasn’t just a friendly suggestion.

In the end he gave in and listened to what this disgrace for the revered Turian race had to say. His resolve to kill him wavered and he begrudgingly let him go.

 

When he came close enough for the Commander and the assassin to spot him, he made sure he looked as pissed as possible. There is no way anyone could miss the aggression tainting every ounce of his body language, regardless if they were Turian or not. Not that Thane would give a damn, but he was hoping Shepard would. He imagined she’d walk up to him and try to talk about the whole thing and explain herself, but he’d tell her he’s not ready for that conversation, that he needed more time.

She didn’t walk up to him. She even had her back turned toward him as he approached and seemed to take off her combat shades. They were weird glasses he had never seen another human wear.

Shepard didn’t bother turning around until Thane shifted his gaze toward him. Her pale face looked unimpressed at best when he stood right in front of her. Garrus was about to tell her that he knew she wanted to speak about the whole Sidonis deal and that he really didn’t feel like talking about it, but then she nodded at him as if she took note that he had arrived.

“Let’s go,” she said. Like nothing happened.

He didn’t want to talk about had happened but he wanted her to approach him on the topic and he’d block the attempt. This was nothing like he had imagined it.

“Are you serious, Shepard?” he said before he could stop himself.

She didn’t even raise an eyebrow. Humans usually had very expressive faces with their wiggly eyebrows, wobbly lips and twitching noses. They were so hard to read. Justizia Shepard’s face was usually blank and observing, giving nothing away. For a moment it looked like she wanted to put on her shades again and he had to fight the urge to slap them out of her hands.

“You made me spare him!” he spat instead and her face turned ice cold. “I told you to step out of my way! This disgusting piece of shit deserved to die, no matter his petty excuses, Shepard! This should have been _my_ call, _Commander._ ” He spat her rank at her, maybe the way it burned his tongue like acid would singe her too.

At this point she shifted her entire body to face him and she grounded her feet and made herself as tall and broad as her slender human body allowed. Her white face started to ripen into an enraged pink. He had only seen this happen a few times, but never aimed at him. It meant that she was getting angry but tried very hard to appear calm.

“How _dare_ you question my judgment, Garrus.”

This was absolutely not how it was supposed to play out but his stupid mouth just wouldn’t stay shut. It would someday be the death of him. “I should have known you wouldn’t understand. Sidonis _betrayed_ me, betrayed my _men_. They deserved better than this!”

Now she started squinting at him. Her weird white lashes obscured what little he could have made out from her eyes. It’s not like he would’ve found much in them anyway.

“I already made my decision, Commander. I needed your _help_ to lure him out in the open. I didn’t need you to make me rethink the whole deal!”

When she spoke again, her voice almost vibrated with cold rage. “You needed my help to grant you immunity in case you got caught. You wanted to use my status as a Spectre for your own benefit, _Vakarian_. Don’t insult me.”

Before he could speak again, she added bitterly, “My decision is final. Sidonis walks and pays for what he did in his very own way.”

Garrus was baffled by Shepard’s ability to shift from reasonable to stupidly stubborn in the blink of an eye.

“This wasn’t your-” he began but she already turned to leave and lifted her hand in a gesture to silence him.

“ _Everything_ is my call, Vakarian. Now you either get in the sky car or I’ll leave you here.”

\--

It’s been over two weeks since what happened or rather didn’t happen on the Citadel. And Shepard hadn’t come to speak with Garrus once. He knew very well that she was still doing her rounds on a daily basis, she was a little obsessed with that routine. Between Omega and the Citadel, she had come by and attempted to speak with him every single day. Mostly he sent her away. On missions he was fine talking or making snarky remarks, but on the _Normandy_ he didn’t get the chance to distract himself from his dark thoughts. He claimed he had calibrations to do; she nodded and went on her way.

So maybe, just _maybe,_ he was a little at fault when she didn’t drop by to chat, but he was rather sure this had nothing to do with his calibrations. She didn’t even bother to take him on missions.

Ever since she found him on Omega, there was rarely a ground mission she didn’t ask him to join. “ _I need you for the shields, Garrus. The shields!_ ” Shepard had explained and her voice did a weird whining noise. She’d wink, a human gesture that indicated she was joking, and they would go on to suit up.

Then Thane joined the crew and he was the new addition to the ground team. She gave them the title _Sniper Squad_ and patted her own rifle as she cloaked herself to sneak up on some mercs.

She still dragged off the drell to have jolly adventures, but he was doomed to stay in the main battery. He probably shouldn’t complain too much, since most others hadn’t seen half the action he did. It still bothered him.

EDI startled him out of his train of thought. “Mess Sergeant Gardner is currently serving lunch. It seems the crew thinks the meal is better than usual.”

He jerked his head away from the console, blinked and muttered “Thanks, EDI,” before he even realized how hungry he was. He still remembered the day Tali returned to the _Normandy_ and started a two hour rant about Cerberus and the AI that turned into a five hour rant, because there was always “ _one more thing!_ ”

Gardner wasn’t exactly skilled with dextro food, but Garrus supposed he might as well grab himself a ration bar before he passed out. That was just embarrassing.

The mess hall was surprisingly crowded with crew members. It made him wonder if the food was actually that good this time, and nervous. When Mess Sergeant spotted he looked more than mildly surprised.

“Garrus, I thought you were on the mission as well. I didn’t prepare anything for you,” he said as Garrus grabbed a ration bar from a top shelf.

It shouldn’t have surprised him, but it still did. Shepard left him to rot on the _Normandy_ once again. “I didn’t even know there was a mission,” he admitted and was fairly sure that Gardner wouldn’t pick up on his disappointment.

He shrugged his shoulders and made his way to one of the tables. He couldn’t spot Tali, which probably meant she either skipped lunch or she was away on the ground team. But there was a free spot next to Grunt. The krogan Shepard was so ridiculously fond of. More than once he had seen her pressing human kisses on Grunt’s forehead and she would run away giggling before he could react.

Ever since they helped him with his Rite of Passage the young krogan was constantly in a good mood and would happily tell everyone near him effective ways of killing an enemy. In excruciating detail.

When he sat down next to Grunt it wasn’t different. He considered him _krantt_ , so apparently he felt the need to educate Garrus. This time it was about how to best kill a turian. Grunt laughed a little when he eyed him. Before he’d start talking about how he hated turians, Garrus interrupted him and asked about the current mission.

The many scales and plates on his head twitched as if he was trying very hard to concentrate and remember. He didn’t much care for missions he wasn’t invited to. It meant he had nothing to kill and therefore it was boring.

“The quarian has a trial,” he said slowly. “The AI- EDI said they would go to another ship and kill Geth.” He jerked his shoulders up in an uncommon shrug, a gesture he had learned from Shepard, no doubt. “No blood, so I don’t care”, he concluded and shoveled what was left on his plate into his mouth. Then he got up, not bothering to clean up his spot.

Tali had told him about the trial. That she was charged with treason. The thought alone that Tali of all people would betray the Flotilla was ridiculous. She’d take off her suit and run across Tuchanka if it’d help her people. He was curious how her case would play out. But now he wasn’t even allowed to join them. He assumed he’d be there when he heard about it. Shepard, Tali and him, just like old times; _before_ Shepard died and everything went to hell.

He looked around. Zaeed told one of the crew members how he once killed a batarian with a butter knife. Jacob and Miranda doubtlessly talked about very important things, _Cerberus_ things. Miranda always gave him the impression everything she touched was immediately upgraded to “very important”. Chambers’ attempt to chat up Mordin ended poorly for her. Whatever she asked him about, it made her uncomfortable now. Jack looked slightly nervous next to Samara, Garrus found that amusing enough to observe the scene for a little while. When Jack caught his stare she glared at him and her lips formed words he didn’t need a translator for. Thane was nowhere to be seen.

“ _Of course he’s not here,_ ” he thought bitterly to himself, idly toying with the ration bar in his hand. “ _Shepard wouldn’t leave her new favorite Sniper-_ “

His train of thought was cut off yet again, when the drell entered the mess hall. This made absolutely no sense. Gardner shoved a plate into his hands and of course the only free chair was the one Grunt just left. Garrus was aware that his little grudge was childish, and that didn’t make it any easier. Thane sat down next to him and was his usual quiet self. By now everyone aboard the _Normandy_ knew that the people skills of the assassin were lacking. Even Chambers had a hard time getting him to talk at all. Of course Shepard was an exception. Somehow she always was.

“Why aren’t you on this mission?” he heard himself ask. Maybe he should glue his mouth shut. He tried to make the question sound casual, by biting into his ration bar.

Thane might have been surprised by the question. It was hard to tell with him, he was even harder to read than Shepard; though not nearly as hard as the Justicar.

He fixed his huge black eyes on Garrus. “There was no need for me, Garrus. Shepard asked Kasumi to accompany her and Tali aboard the Rayya,” he informed him.

He nearly slapped himself on the face plates. _Kasumi_. _Of course_ she would take Kasumi. He should have realized that someone else was missing. But one could never be sure with that human. She was everywhere and nowhere. And according to herself _she heard it all_. Before the silence went on too long and became awkward, he managed to hum something that sounded somewhat like he had gotten the information he was looking for.

The drell shifted his attention back to the food. He wasn’t overly interested in talking to anyone. Garrus knew that Shepard once asked him to try and socialize with the crew. That wasn’t going too well.

“So…” Mouth glue would be one of his better investments. “How’s your son doing, Thane?”

This time he really looked surprised. At least that’s what Garrus assumed the expression was supposed to be. “Kolyat… He is doing well. We talk regularly.” Thane looked somewhat proud here. “He is doing good work; helps people.”

“Good.” He took his last bite from the bar, determined to just let this conversation be over.

Before he could get up, Thane spoke up again. “Do you still want to take revenge?” he asked.

Why did he even bother avoiding this topic when the assassin would tackle it anyway? Garrus said nothing.

Apparently that was answer enough for him. “Revenge is not as satisfying as you think it is.”

“Don’t you think _I_ should have been the judge of that?” Justice still wasn’t served, no matter what the Commander had said. “I would have lived with the consequences.”

Thane was quiet for a few seconds. “You wouldn’t have.”

Baffled, Garrus stared at him for five solid minutes, but he didn’t look up again and instead ate as if he hadn’t said anything.

\--

The women returned not too long ago. Tali visited the main battery and told him all about what her father did and how disappointed she was. Apparently Shepard yelled loud enough about injustice and how the trial was not about Tali at all, for the Admiralty Board to declare her not guilty. Garrus listened patiently and nodded every once in a while, sometimes he even made a snarky remark.

Eventually Tali tilted her head and he already dreaded what she would say. “Listen, Garrus. I know you’re not happy about what happened with that _bosh’tet_ of a turian, but you should probably talk to Shepard about it, better sooner than later. Otherwise you’ll never see any action again. And I really missed your bad jokes over on the Alarei.”

He made a grunting noise; something between a laugh and an annoyed sound. She lifted her hands, indicating she’d let the topic go. He was grateful for that.

About an hour later he went to confront Thane about what he had said in the mess hall. He knew that he went on a killing spree after his wife was killed. All things considered Thane should be the last person to agree with Shepard on the topic of revenge. Of course when he entered the arid Life Support chamber he found it empty. Garrus stepped outside and was about to return to the main battery, but his gaze shifted left and he realized he could as well talk to the information expert down the corridor on the whereabouts of the drell.

He found Kasumi on her couch. She seemed to always sit in the exact same spot but she’d pop up at any time anywhere to scare the crap out of him. Or anyone for that matter. She took pride in it.

“Garrus!” she said and she almost sounded surprised. “There you are. What’s our favorite grumpy turian doing in the Lounge?” If her hood wouldn’t obscure most of her face, he was sure he’d see some impressive eyebrow dance show. “Want a drink?” She vaguely gestured toward the many bottles on the far end of the room.

“Any idea where Thane is?” With Kasumi it was better to just cut straight to the case, sometimes. She had a habit of distracting people with small talk.

“Thane?” This time she sounded genuinely surprised. “Sure, he’s up in the armory, messing with his guns.”

That was easier than he expected. “Thanks, Kasumi.” The door closed behind him, before she could ask what all that was about.

\--

Except for Thane, the armory was empty. Usually Jacob would loiter around, but he avoided the assassin. He didn’t trust him. Then again, he was never allowed to join Thane on a mission and therefore couldn’t see just how reliable he actually was. When Jacob made it clear that he expected a knife in the back and didn’t even want to get to know the new crew member, Shepard unofficially grounded him. Just like she grounded Garrus now.

Thane was bent over the table as he cleaned his rifle, a task that many on the _Normandy_ found to be cathartic. He didn’t look up when the automatic doors beeped open, but he made room for Garrus to join him.

“Let me guess,” Garrus said, “You knew I was coming.”

“I assumed,” he corrected, raspy voice expressionless.

“Right…” Garrus drawled as he approached. After a moment of silence Thane looked up.

“Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I don’t appreciate your lecture about revenge, but… I really don’t appreciate your lecture about revenge.”

The drell made a huffing sound that reminded him of a laugh. “I know what it is like to fall into battle sleep.” Garrus didn’t feel like asking what _battle sleep_ was supposed to mean; probably some weird drell thing. “It’s not… pleasant.”

“Revenge isn’t about pleasant. It’s about justice,” Garrus protested.

This time Thane sighed, taking a deep breath after. Sometimes it was hard to keep in mind that the capable assassin was terminally ill. “You think it is justice to put a bullet in his head. Shepard thinks justice is to let him suffer from nightmares and guilt for the rest of his life.” There was no judgment in his voice, no chastising, just a statement of facts. If anything he simply sounded tired.

“So you think it would have been kinder to just kill him?” Garrus didn’t think about that before, but still thought that he should have been allowed to shoot Sidonis, or at least to decide for himself. Shepard had nothing to do with this, this was not her battle. “As I said, I would live with the consequences.”

“As I said, you wouldn’t.” This time Thane looked him straight in the eyes. The innerving black orbs were now wholly focuses on the scarred turian before them, rifle now forgotten.

“And what’s _that_ supposed to mean?” Sometimes he felt like a stupid boy, scolded by a teacher when he talked to Thane. It was almost like he was talking to his father again. He didn’t even know if Thane was older than him, but then again drell lives were a good deal shorter than a turian’s.

Garrus at least lacked in life experience, compared to the assassin; he would concede that much.

His secondary eyelids twitched together for a moment. “The Commander was going to shoot you if you’d taken the shot.” Referring to her by her title indicated that Thane didn’t exactly agree with Shepard’s decision. Something he was glad for. Having an assassin who thinks he deserved to die was probably not a good thing.

“Huh,” was the only thing Garrus could say to that, and even the confused noise was riddled with hesitation. He shouldn’t have been surprised if he was perfectly honest. Still, sometimes Shepard was terrifying with her obsessive cold determination.

“Shepard also ordered me to end your life, should you miss and end up shooting her dead instead.”

That made him blink slack jawed at Thane in confusion.

The drell shrugged. “I assured her that wasn’t necessary. You wouldn’t risk shooting her.” Garrus wasn’t sure if he imagined a tiny smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. But it was gone before he could interpret it.

“And if you did, I wouldn’t need her order to end you.”

\--

Garrus hated to admit it but Tali was right. He needed to talk to Shepard. Better sooner than later. It was of course counterproductive that she avoided the main battery in a stubborn and childish attempt to punish him for disagreeing with her.

So it was up to him to go on a _Normandy_ -wide search for his commanding officer. That proved rather easy though. All he had to do was to ask EDI where Shepard was. As it turned out, she was in the debriefing room. He should have expected as much; after all it was one of the few rooms where she could dim the lights to her liking.

When he entered, she curiously looked up, but when she recognized him Shepard immediately looked back to her datapad with a scowl. She was wearing the uniform she had customized herself.

She had cut out the Cerberus symbols and slapped some rainbow hearts over the holes. Eventually Miranda confronted her about this and Shepard broke out into an incredibly expressive dance involving her two middle fingers sticking up. Then she and Jack started singing a song they called “Sadistic racist assholes”. Miranda looked pissed, but he was fairly sure he heard her snorting more than once and tried very hard to suppress a smile. That day he decided Miranda probably wasn’t as bad and serious as she insistently claimed to be.

“What is it?” She possessed the incredible ability to make a simple question sound like an order.

That was a good sign, he thought. She was talking to him and at least didn’t add a scathing _Vakarian_ to the end of her sentence. “I’ve been talking to Thane,” he informed her.

She hummed, it was a sour and flat note, indicating she was listening and asking him to go on.

“He said you ordered him to kill me, if I shot you instead of Sidonis.” Garrus wasn’t sure if she’d pick up on his accusing tone. She probably did.

Sometimes it was very hard to catch anything she did though. Her face was white, her hair was white, even her eyes were almost white. As far as he could tell she shot him glance. “I did, and I would do it again, if I deem it necessary.” She sounded very cold again; like when she talked last to him on the Citadel. But at least she put down her damn datapad and gave him her full attention.

Before he could protest Shepard lifted her hand to silence him again. “I have no idea what you think you were like, but I can tell you one thing, I hate the person you were becoming.” She gestured him to take a seat. He did.  But not next to her. He chose to sit opposite of her.

“I already told you in the sky car, you weren’t yourself. I like you, Garrus. Hell you are the best friend I could ever hope for. But the way you were, it was like the propaganda they used to spread about your guys during the First Contact War. I hate this red eyed, raging revenge monster.”

When he looked at her in confusion she vaguely pointed at his face. “Your eyes... They were all red,” she explained. Could it be that she was just worried about him and didn’t want to spite him because he wanted his own brand justice?

“Shepard, you’re missing the point,” Garrus began but she cut him off again.

“No, listen. I know you think shooting Sidonis was the right thing to do, but it’s not. He betrayed you and your men because he was scared the mercs would kill him. You heard me talking to him.” He nodded. But he was surprised that Shepard would defend such an action.

“Just killing him like that is not right. He let ten men die for his own life to be spared. Now they haunt him. You heard him, he was scared to die, but he wanted it to be over just as well. I say justice is to let him linger in that state.” The corner of her mouth twitched up, and her expression clearly said _“And my justice is the right justice.”_

If he was being honest, he still saw good in Sidonis. The man wasn’t all bad. He was a coward and a traitor, but there was still some good in him be it misguided at times. He thought maybe that is what led Shepard to spare him but evidently her judgment was even harder than his. She didn’t spare him; she stopped Garrus from sparing Sidonis from her own justice.

He shuddered a little when he thought about all the other times she spared someone. And maybe her motives weren’t always _kindness_.

“Shepard, you are _still_ missing the point,” Garrus finally said and this time Shepard didn’t interrupt him. Instead she blinked at him in confusion. “You ordered Thane to kill me, _if I shot you!_ ” This time he allowed a full scale accusatory tone, no friendly buffering around the edges. “Is that why you took him with us on the trip? Were you scared of me?”

She squinted and blinked again. Then she opened her eyes wide in surprise for the first time in weeks. “What? No! You both had things to do on the Citadel. Thought I could just do everything in one go!” Suddenly all the coolness in her expression was gone, like it was never there in the first place. She even began telling him about what she bought before they went to stop Thane’s son. _Fish_. Because _Sergeant Nuzzlefin_ and his friends died under mysterious circumstances.

She didn’t even realize that he was hoping to say something else. Shepard kept talking and talking when he subtly cleared his throat. So he ended up reaching over the table, poking her squishy arm. Then she finally stopped and looked at him. He wondered if the prick of his talon would hurt her if he hadn’t worn his gloves.

“Shepard, I would _never_ risk shooting you,” he said slowly. “I could have made the shot, like I did when we first met. With Dr. Michel. But I’m not like that anymore. I will never shoot, if the bullet could hit you.” Here she looked skeptical. It hurt.

Garrus leant forward in his seat, his elbows pressing into the cold metal table top under his weight. “I respect you more than anyone,” he began, but then he realized that one could easily misinterpret that. Or maybe he was overthinking it. Was he overthinking it? Yeah, he was overthinking it. “You and Tali are my only friends. If I’d so much as push you too hard and you get a bruise I’m pretty sure she’ll blow my head off with her little shotgun.”

Finally he could hear her laugh again, it was a light, musical sound. She kicked his shin under the desk. “I don’t bruise just because someone pushes me!” she insisted, her blunt teeth glistening. He gestured to her arms; foreign unplated fleshy things covered in pale yellow and green spots. And one or the other new scar.

“Gosh, Garrus, those happened because I was _shot at_!” She waved her hand dismissively. “That’s completely different.”

Garrus snorted and rose to his feet, the legs of his chair grated against the floor. He pointed at her datapads strewn across the desk. “I’ll leave you to it then.” She nodded with a glint in her eyes.

“And one more thing, Shepard.” He was rewarded with an arched eyebrow. “Just because you were named after some human justice god, spirit, whatever, doesn’t mean you’re always inherently right.”

“Goddess,” she corrected. “And yes it does.” This time, she smiled.


End file.
